


If you leave me now

by TheSSChestHair



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-31
Updated: 2016-05-31
Packaged: 2018-07-11 08:59:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7041679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSSChestHair/pseuds/TheSSChestHair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off a prompt: 3B alternative ending. Emma reacts differently to Kilian's confession, causing him to make a decision.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If you leave me now

“Why the Jolly Roger of course.” He smiled flippantly.

“You traded your ship for me?” Emma asked, disbelief visible in her voice.

Killian sobered at her question, nodding with a simple “Aye” in response.

He saw her internal struggle; the walls building back up as she absorbed his confession. She leant back in her chair as if suddenly aware of how close she’d gravitated forward during their chat. Killian tore his eyes from her conflicted face lowering his gaze to focus on the table.

An uncomfortable tension grew within their silence.

“I should get back inside.” She announced.

He nodded, unable to look up.

“I’m sorry, I just…” she didn’t finish her sentence, just rose from her seat and headed back into the diner.

Killian let her go.

His gaze stayed on the tabletop, still unable to look at her. He wasn’t surprised by her reaction yet it still hurt non-the less. It was too much for her- he knew it, and now she was running again.

He stayed seated long after she’d returned to the party inside. Rejection coursed through him, tearing at his insides. The difference this time being that he felt no fight left in him. Whereas before he’d held a small amount of frustration as well as hope, this time he just felt disappointed.

Defeated.

 

He was aware of Robin and Regina arriving at the diner, stopping to share a quick embrace before catching up with Roland and making their way inside.

Killian stood from his seat, placing his flask back into his pocket and decided to make an appearance at the festivities. He headed down the side of the building, choosing to slip in through the back rather than announce his presence at the front entrance. He’d rather skip the occasion altogether, finding himself unable to join in at the happy occasion, but his annoying need to make sure all were okay overpowered him.

He paused in the dark hallway of the diner, overhearing a conversation around the corner where the dartboard resided. Snow white and Ruby were having a discussion about the enchanted forest. His ears perked up when he heard the wolf mention a batch of magic beans due for harvest.

The possibility of being able to return to the Enchanted forest struck a chord within him. He mulled the idea over until he became aware that the two women had finished their conversation and had left.

 

The party was winding down; many folk littering out as the night grew late. He’d sat propped up at the far end of the counter, observing the comings and goings of the room. Emma had remained seated in a booth with her parents and son. She’d spotted him when he’d first come in. Her look shifted and her body tensed slightly, shuffling uncomfortably in her seat. That alone kept him away from their table. She’d done her very best to ignore his presence altogether for the rest of the night and it cut him deep.

Killian saw the royal couple bid a few people goodnight, Emma also bidding her farewells for the evening. She gave him a weary look before turning back to her parents and following them out into the night.

None of them had bothered to acknowledge him.

He could find reason within their actions and believe that they were too wrapped up in the glow of being happy to remember him, but he’d chosen to take it personally.

“You want a refill?” Ruby’s voice broke him from his trance.

“Those magic beans. When will they be ready?”

His question shocked the waitress, making her hesitant to engage him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She feigned innocence.

“I overheard your conversation with Mary Margaret, love. You’re returning to the Enchanted forest, yes?”

Ruby nodded reluctantly, finding no reason to pretend she wasn’t.

“I was hoping I could accompany you when you decide to go.” He confessed. “Do you know when you’ll be departing?”

“Wait… you want to go back? Why?” Ruby was confused.

Killian was reluctant to tell the woman but being his only chance to return, he knew he’d have to tell her something.

“Much like yourself, I’m finding that Storybrooke isn’t where I belong.” She seemed to accept his excuse, much to his relief.

“They won’t be ready for another week or so. But I’ll let you know as soon as they are.”

Killian nodded in thanks and stood up. “I trust we can keep this between us?” he asked.

Ruby gave him a sad smile as an agreement to keep quiet and felt somewhat sympathetic for the pirate that had turned and left.

It was decided.

He’d be returning to the Enchanted forest as soon as Ruby was ready. He’d done what he’d set out to do: find Emma and return her to her family and help defeat the latest threat. She was happy now. She’d found her family and she’d found her home.

And Killian Jones didn’t have a place in either.

 

He’d seen her a few times over the past two days. She’d managed to avoid talking to him by conveniently changing her direction as soon as she’d spotted him, which was fine for Killian. If she didn’t want to speak with him, he wasn’t going to make her.

As much as he’d wanted to chase her down the street or follow her into whichever building she’d run into and demand to know why she was shutting him out, he’d lost the ability to try. He kept telling himself that he’d only have to suffer a few more days before he could leave, and Emma wouldn’t have to go out of her way to hide from him anymore.

Until then, he’d keep his head down and stay out of her way.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey Ruby.” Emma greeted the guest her mother was entertaining in the loft. They were seated around the table. Emma went straight to the kitchen area to fix herself a hot cup, prepared to join the duo.

“Ruby’s planning on going back to the Enchanted forest.” Snow informed Emma.

“Really? I didn’t think that was possible.” She commented, stirring her cup and making her way to the table to take a seat.

“Anton has a new bean harvest. He said I get first dibs once they’re ready.”

“Wow. Well… we’ll be sad to see you go, that’s for sure.” Emma offered, noting her mother’s sadness at losing her friend.

“Actually… there’s something I should tell you.” Ruby faltered, seeming uncertain to share. “I’m not going back alone.”

Snow and Emma looked at each other in confusion.

“Hook is coming with me.” She revealed.

Mother and daughter looked shocked. Seeing the surprise on Emma’s face, Mary Margaret asked the question on both their minds.

“Did he say why?”

“Just that he feels he doesn’t belong. I promised I wouldn’t say anything but I thought you’d want to know.”

Ruby felt the mood change in the loft. Snow watched Emma with concern, noting the shift in her.

“Emma, are you okay?” She turned to her mother sharply.

“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I know you two are close-”

“We’re not.” She objected. “If Hook wants to leave that’s his choice. It’s not my problem.” Her tone was meant to be uncaring, but upset still leaked through.

“I should get back. Granny probably needs me.” Ruby announced, leaving the family to talk.

As soon as Ruby closed the door, Snow turned to Emma with softness.

“Emma? What happened?”

“Nothing.”

Snow didn’t push her. She simply watched her with a weary eye as she left her seat, mumbling about a patrol and swiftly exited the loft.

 

“Heard you’re leaving town.”

Killian turned from his view of the horizon to find a defensive Emma standing behind him. Her arms were crossed and her hair whipped around her shoulders due to the harsh ocean winds.

“I should’ve known the she-wolf couldn’t keep quiet.” He muttered.

“So what’s your angle here? I won’t run into your arms so you threaten to leave in hopes I’ll make you stay?” she spat out.

Killian grew angry at the accusation.

“You really think that lowly of me? If I’d wanted that don’t you think I would have told you of my plans? I’ve said it before, Swan. I don’t indulge in trickery.” He was getting irritable. “Why do you even care? I’d have thought you’d be happy to see the back of me, considering the lengths you’ve gone to avoid being anywhere near me.”

“I don’t care. I just want to know why you’re leaving.” She threw back.

“What does it matter why?”

“It doesn’t.”

They stood at staring at one another for a beat, both humming with anger.

“I’ve done what I set out to do. I found you and brought you home, and the wicked witch has been defeated. You’ve made it abundantly clear that I have no place in your life after that. I can’t apologize for what I did, Emma. It was the right thing to do and if given the choice, I’d do it again.” Killian paused. “But I am sorry my actions upset you. If I’d known my choice would have angered you, I’d have held back from the truth. But I also swore to never lie to you.”

Emma’s anger simmered out at his confession.

“Killian, you gave up your ship. Your home. No one just does that.” She reasoned.

“But I did. And whether you like to hear it or not, Swan. It was worth it. You’re worth it. Your happiness is worth a thousand ships.”

Emma didn’t know how to respond to his words, so she took the coward’s way and changed the subject.

“Do you know what you’ll do when you return?”

“Probably what I do best. There’s always buried treasure somewhere. I might even take a leaf out of your book, savior. Help those in need in the name of good form and all that.” His tone was light, adding humor to the tense situation.

Emma smiled softly. His plans filled her with sadness.

She was going to miss him.

She needed to get away before the overwhelming rush of emotions took over her and she made a fool of herself.

“I should head back, it’s getting late.” He nodded at her departure, turning back towards the horizon once again as Emma left with a whole new battle raging inside her.

 

She sat on her bed, fingers softly caressing over the illustration in the storybook, reminiscing over the adventure she’d been on only days before. She closed it hastily as she heard footsteps making their way into her room.

Snow joined her on the bed, letting out a heavy sigh.

“I sure am going to miss Ruby.” She started. “She’s always been my best friend. The person I could go to when things were getting on top of me. Most of the time I wouldn’t have to say anything, she just got me, you know? I just wish there were something I could do to make her stay. Purely for my own selfish reasons of course.”

Emma sighed at Snow’s speech, giving her a look.

“I know what you’re doing.” She warned.

“Is it working?”

“Maybe.” Emma admitted reluctantly.

She finally let her mother in and relayed all what had happened between herself and Killian within the past week. Snow listened intently, honored she was finally being confided in.

“Emma? What are your feelings for him?”

“I don’t know. That’s the problem. He surprises me at every turn and mostly I’m just always left feeling scared.”

“I think you need to decide what you want. If you feel that there’s something between you two – and I have to be honest, Emma, I think there is, then you need to face that fear and tell him. But if you just want him here with the intention of constantly pushing him away and ignoring him, then you need to let him go.”

Emma mulled over her advice. “He’s shown you how he feels, maybe now is the time for you to do the same.”

Emma nodded as a stray tear escaped her eye.

“Thanks mom.”

“Anytime, honey.” She hugged her before leaving her be.

 

Killian was torn out of sleep by a hasty rapping on his door. He rushed to throw on his clothes, assuming there was trouble. It’s the only reason he could imagine someone would be disturbing him at this ridiculous hour.

Throwing open the door, he didn’t expect to see Emma standing there, shuffling from foot to foot.

“Can I come in?” she asked meekly.

He stood back, letting her enter.

“Is everything alright?” His concern wasn’t answered.

He made his way to the other side of the room, picking up his hook to secure it in its brace, giving Emma a chance to explain.

“I hate olives.”

He turned to her, completely and utterly confused but Emma continued.

“I’m not a morning person and coffee is the only thing to wake me properly. I love rainy nights and fancy Italian restaurants. My watchlist on Netflix is crazy so be prepared to watch at least three shows at once.”

“Emma, no offense, love. But what is going on?” Killian felt like he’d missed something important, not understanding her ramblings.

“I’m telling you about me.”

“I’ve gathered that, I’m just not sure why.”

Emma gave him a stern look.

“I want you to stay.” She ordered.

Killian’s heart jumped at her words, but approached her with caution.

“Emma, I meant what I said yesterday. I’m not leaving to try and trick you-”

“I know. That’s not why – I want this. Killian, whatever this is between us, I want it. But I’m scared, okay? I’m not used to someone putting me first or sacrificing things for me and I will push you away sometimes but… I’m ready to fight for this, whatever this is. I don’t want to lose you.”

He couldn’t do anything but stare at her in awe.

“But if leaving is really what you want I’ll understa-”

He cut her off with his lips. She kissed him back, both pouring their need into one another. She pulled back, resting her forehead to his.

“Does that mean you’re got going?”

“Not a chance in hell, love. You’re stuck with me now, Emma.”

“Good.”

“Emma. Do you really mean it?” he asked, still uncertain.

She smiled, confident.

“I do.”

She pulled him back to her mouth, holding nothing back as they kissed with urgency.

 


End file.
